It's The Little Things That Kill You
by Shimegami
Summary: PG-13 for language, shounen ai, and definate angst. Hisoka sidestory to my Watari fic. With Hisoka pining after an unusual person...inspired by a review.


It's The Little Things That Kill You  
By: Shimegami  
Warnings: Shounen ai, angst, kinda dark  
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue.  
AN: ....ugha. My Watari fic is being a bitch. I'm at a happy part, and I can't find the motivation to write it, because I'm all nice and angsty today. -_-;;;;  
On a better note, it gave me an idea for a side story to it with Hisoka!! *waves little flags* Wai. This is just a one-shot introspect thing, so no plot advance  
for the main fic. Sorry. ^^;;;; Oh, and Vain, this is based on your pairing idea. ^_^  
  
It's The Little Things That Kill You  
  
Damn it.  
  
When did it have to become so complicated?  
  
Why did I have to fall in love with him?  
  
I mean, he's the last person you'd expect me to love. You'd think I'd fall in love with Tsuzuki. I nearly did. But, somehow, I fell in love with that damned scientist.  
  
Which sucks, because Tsuzuki loves him too. And Tatsumi is not totally impartial.  
  
Damn it, this doesn't just suck, this REALLY sucks. It's not even a love triangle, because it's the worst kept secret around the Meifu that Watari likes Tsuzuki the best.  
It's more like a...love pentagon or a love angle or....I'm going to confuse myself. My head hurts.  
  
Contemplating my screwed love life or lack thereof (more like hopeless pining away) in the terms of mathematics isn't the best way to spend my afternoon.  
  
But I am, because I'm bored, and they're together now because I stole Tsuzuki's cookies. Which I'm eating now, by the way.  
  
My afterlife sucks.  
  
I munch on another cookie. These things aren't half bad, despite the fact that I've never really liked sweets. I prefer more filling foods. Arrgh, now I'm trying to  
distract myself with eating. Isn't that a major sign on the list of symptoms for severe psychological depression or something like that? Any more of this and I'll get  
fat.  
  
.....Is it even possible to get fat?? I'm dead! Look at Tsuzuki and the amount he eats! Well, maybe he just has really high metabolism...would I get fat? I'm not sure.  
  
Darn it, now I'm babbling. This is very bad. If something doesn't happen soon and gets me over my infatuation, I'll drive myself crazy.  
  
Or get really fat.  
  
Arrgghh!!! This is NOT helping!! I throw myself facefirst on my bed. Maybe I can just sleep and wake up and this would all be some crazy nightmare induced by Watari's cooking.  
Urgh, do not think about Watari!! Too late, now I'm on the subject.  
  
Who couldn't like him?? He's happy, cheerful, a little absent-minded but that's overlooked in his dedication and zeal. He throws himself fully into everything he does, with little  
regard for commen sense and more than a little lunacy. Who wouldn't want a lover who loved you fully, with every fiber of his being? Not to mention he is a little good-looking...okay,   
REALLY good-looking. He's prettier than most girls I know, with all that hair and those expressive golden-brown eyes.  
  
He's beautiful. In every sense of the word. But he belongs to Tsuzuki, because they love each other, even if they hadn't admitted it yet.  
  
Damn it.  
  
I know I'm looked upon as the kid Shinigami with the empathy and a bad past, the one with a snappy temper and aloof personality. Even thought of as everybody's little brother. But damn it,   
I love too.  
  
I wonder if I were like Tsuzuki, or even Tatsumi, if I would have had a better chance at his heart.  
  
If I would have been more than "Hisoka-otouto" in his eyes.  
  
If I would have been first in his mind.  
  
But I'm not, and I got shoved back into a little hole, where I'll stay and sit and eat cookies while moaning that "I should have done this..." and "I should have been that..."  
  
Where I'll replay every "What if.." for the rest of my supernatural life.  
  
The rest of my supernatural life? Try the rest of eternity. I'm immortal now. Which is a bad deal even if it sounds good. Eternity just sounds too long.  
  
But that's how it is, and it will never change. I will remain the Hisoka everybody knows and believes. NObody will ever know, and i will forget that I'm in love with watari  
when I can't have him.  
  
I'm out of cookies.  
  
This sucks.  
  
~Owari~  
  
AN: Poor Hisoka-chan! ;_; *sighs* More angst. Yay. And I plan to do a Tatsumi one. Yep, everybody loves Watari in my storyline-arc-thingie. XDXD  
reviews? Flames? Chocolate-covered bishie? 


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